im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Randomize
