Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
