i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
