I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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