We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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