No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
