wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
