chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize