I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
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