I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
