I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She's the barista slut.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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