he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
