i would punch a child for taco bell
accomplished twins. life is a go
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
