If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
