Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
