You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You smell like a Billy Joel song
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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