i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
