Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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