I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
