FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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