so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I have feelings that need drinking.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
