I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
