Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
