you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
