Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
