we have pet lesbian snakes
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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