oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
