Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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