I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
