u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
