I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
