apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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