I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Quick, to the slutcave!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
