Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
