HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
