I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
