she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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