I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
