grandma shit on top of the toilet
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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