I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
