But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
