dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
