yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
