we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Randomize
