I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
