It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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