They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize