she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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