how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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