Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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