So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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