Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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