He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
this will be a night to untag.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Randomize
