Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
