what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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