i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
