um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
