If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
