My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
