nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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