Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize