god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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