i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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