and next time when you feel me up, do it right
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Randomize