my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Randomize
