conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
