If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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