Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
