My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
The best revenge is premature balding
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
