forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
