he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
