benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
