I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
