How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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