There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Randomize
