ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
